


Chapter Thirty-One: The Seven Deadly Sins

by CavalierConvoy



Series: MTMTE Series One: Shoot Straight with a Crooked Gun [32]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers Generation One, Transformers Generation Two, Transformers: Beast Machines, Transformers: Beast Wars
Genre: Banter, Best Friends, Fluff, Gen, Other, Sharing a Bed, Shore Leave
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 16:06:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3616041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CavalierConvoy/pseuds/CavalierConvoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hedonia! Everyone's excited for shore leave! </p><p>Well, everyone save Artemis, with the unfinished business with Red Alert's findings and the theft of the evidence still weighing on her thoughts. Trailcutter and Cavalier have other plans for their friend, and insist she take a break, as well as, to the surprise of everyone involved, Sunstreaker, whose interests may not be altogether pure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapter Thirty-One: The Seven Deadly Sins

**Author's Note:**

> Part One of Four of "Knights of Hedonia". 
> 
> Miniseries song: ["Knights of Cydonia" ](https://youtu.be/Q3Yc3HhSl1Q) by Muse, from _Black Holes and Revelations_.
> 
> Come ride with me  
>  Through the veins of history  
>  I'll show you a god who  
>  Falls asleep on the job  
>  And how can we win  
>  When fools can be kings  
>  Don't waste your time  
>  Or time will waste you

  
Ah the years rolled by and several died  
And left us somewhat reelin'  
In and out came crawlin' out  
And spewed upon the ceiling  
So what became of rebels  
That sang for you and me  
Grapplin' with their demons  
In the search for liberty  
— ["The Seven Deadly Sins"](https://youtu.be/lFKb7sKJ_Qs) by Flogging Molly, from _Within a Mile from Home_

 

The _Little Revenge_ was running heavy. Likely Octane forgot to bring the throttle down to quarter-speed before hitting recharge again. Cav being Cav never bothered to check speed when she took over for him. Hot berth missions were a pain in the aft, but they were finally getting the schedule down. Losing one of the bunk rooms to their POW, meant sharing a slab, and between the three full-size mechs, supposed winner of the straw draw got Cav as a bunk mate; loser got Skyfire, although Skyfire, once out, was still; Cavalier sprawled, and it was not unusual coming to with a certain Minibot draped over a midsection or hugging a limb.

Which was why Artemis found herself wedged in between the giant's back and the wall. Granted, he did offer to give her the outside; she rationalised that it kept her from killing their prisoner in his sleep.

Thing was, as she cycled out of recharge, oddities rose. She knew enough of Sky's recharge habits and internal thrums to pick up a heavier, lower idle, closer to a grounder engine than a jet. Angle was strange, and, was that an exposed tyre poking into her back...? Did Sky and Sandstorm swap positions midway?

Her optics onlined, and she found herself staring at the rivets in the wall. They were standard issue Cybertronian size and distance, not the smaller, closer gapped of a Sirian craft. 

Recalibrate, time check.

 _Lost Light_  
Now

 

Cavalier's slow, deep electronica recharge mix was faint. That was normal. Lost Light. Not the Ell-Arr. Explained the heavier engine noise. No, not the one directly behind — 

Okay, no panicking. Last night, after Hoist, Grapple, and Huffer had left. Trailcutter lost consciousness midway through _Hot Fuzz_ and, because no one had the spark to rouse him, let alone the strength — 

_Ah._

Winston Churchill's "Never Surrender" speech was the only warning of Cavalier's wake-up selection. At least she picked a song with a warning before the crashing intro of "Aces High".

Artemis managed to get out of the way before her impromptu bunk mate reacted, jerking his head up, muttered something that could have been a question, then looked around to collect his bearings.

"Morning, sunshine," Artemis greeted, using an elbow to prop herself up to survey the damage. Ratchet had said moderation, and after twenty megacycles of sobriety with disastrous results, she broke out a pack of Stormin' the Garrison and split it with their guests. She sent Hoist out with her case of Nightmare Fuel, giving him the reason that Swerve had "borrowed" Trailcutter's stash, and she would get its value out of the Minibot her way. Close enough to the truth, but at least she got rid of the temptation of hard stuff. 

The stout, while nowhere near as strong, would be better for moderation. 

_Keep telling yourself that, Arty._

Cavalier slid off her berth, crossed the hab, and leaned up against Trailcutter's shoulder. "Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!" She sang, close to his helm, jumping back as he flailed his hand to swat her away. 

"Izzat?" he slurred. "'Erem'i?"

"On my slab," Artemis was fluent in both the languages of drunk and hungover. "Which, if you could be so kind as to scoot over so that I can dislodge myself from the wall...."

He raised his head, optics blinking on, confusion twisting his mouth into a grimace.

"Oh, trust me, if anything happened, I recorded it," the Minibot chortled. 

"Cut it out — I don't annoy your friends when you have your parties, do I?" Artemis pushed herself into a sitting position, then climbed over Trailcutter's back.

"No, you just glare at them and they think you're going to tear their heads off if they don't leave."

"That's you feeding them false information." At the energon dispenser, Artemis queued up morning rations, hot, into the carafe. Regarding the slow-to-rise mech, she chuckled. "Isn't the first time I've found a friend passed out on my berth." 

"Third party still present here," Trailcutter reminded, muffled.

Cavalier cheered, switching up her track from Iron Maiden to Muse's "Knights of Cydonia". "C'mon, 'Cutter! It's time for pub crawls and ... well, pub crawls!"

"Your ability to not get killed is exceeded only by your ability to annoy everyone around you," he groused.

"Catches my enemies off-guard; by the time they hear me, it's too late, and if they see me, I'm teabaggin' their corpse."

"Wha'?" Trailcutter sat up, but judging by his glazed expression, had not quite joined them in consciousness. "What the hell does that even mean?" 

"Hard to explain when we don't have teabags." Cavalier perched on the edge of the slab, swinging her legs.

Carafe in hand, Artemis pulled a bottle of stout from its stash and handed it to Trailcutter. "Hair of the dog that bit you. Never got that expression, but the end result helps."

"Thanks." With a groan, Trailcutter sat up, keeping his head down as he took the proffered drink. Popping the cap, he drank, draining half the bottle. "'How're you feelin'?"

Artemis smirked. "A little stiff after being pressed against the wall — don't you even say it, Cav."

"That...wasn't what I meant." Trailcutter rubbed the back of his neck. "Um...you were muttering." His gaze darted over to the Minibot, then back to Artemis.

"Art," Cavalier whined. "You shouldn't be having those wacko visions anymore, right?"

"'Visions'?" Trailcutter demanded, regaining some coherency. 

"Long story that I don't like to talk about," Artemis admitted. "I got better; that's all that matters."

Even without a visible mouth, Cavalier's doubt radiated. "Art — "

"I'm okay, Brat," the black and chrome Autobot stressed. "I tend to talk in my sleep when attempting sobriety."

Cavalier held up a finger as though to correct, but did fell short of vocalising her protest.

"That...I don't think that was just talking." Trailcutter regarded Artemis with a similar expression before placing a hand on her arm. "What happened?"

"Funny story; I'll tell you over drinks." By Artemis's tone, it was not funny. "So what time is the shuttle leaving? We should probably head over. 'Cutter, you're cleared to go, right?"

Again, Trailcutter looked to Cavalier for help, but only received a blank stare. "I think anyone without a serious criminal record — wait, no, I take that back. Whirl's been cleared, too."

"So, plans?" Cavalier requested, taking on a chipper tone as though attempting to lighten the mood. "Thinking 'bout hitting a mod shop to get those retractable mini-wheels in the feet — "

"Oi, take it from a former mod junkie: don't be going to just any chop shop; last thing you want is something jamming up your modes or giving you perpetual migraines. And what happened to the karaoke machine?"

"Still on the list," Cavalier twirled, gesturing with both index fingers at her roommate before exiting the hab unit. "See you on the shuttle — _Ciao_!"

"Let me guess," Trailcutter assumed, "she hung out with Tracks back in Autobot City."

"Got it in one." She took the spent bottle from her friend and tossed it in the box with its fallen comrades. "I'm not sure how I feel about today."

"Like it's a distraction?" Trailcutter suggested.

"With Red boxed, someone's gotta be paranoid," Artemis grumbled.

"Yeah." He slung an arm around her shoulders and led her out of the hab. "Art, you need a holiday."

"You don't find this the least bit suspicious?"

"Am I going to have to carry you onto the shuttle? I will if I must."

"Look, it's probably a bad idea for me to — "

Trailcutter stepped in front of her, arms across his chest, staring down at her with a smirk.

She pointed a finger at him. "No."

 

*

 

"And that's how I found myself in my current predicament," Artemis explained to Skids, who had taken up Trailcutter's flank.

The amnesiac cocked his head to one side as though balancing the smirk he sported. "'Resisting shore leave'? That's a new one.'"

"Art doesn't like to leave anything unfinished," Trailcutter explained, lining up in the queue to the shuttle.

"Hey, Skids, want to hear a story?" Sarcasm laced Artemis's otherwise cheerful tone. "Back on Autobot City, we had a rash of paint bomb pranks that claimed many a finish, the victims just so happened to coincide with those who annoyed me."

"The first victim being Magnus himself," Sunstreaker exclaimed; he and Bob had queued behind Skids. "Whoever that brave yet suicidal bot was, they never caught her in the act."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Artemis shrugged her left shoulder; the right was immobilised, wedged against Trailcutter's forcefield generator. "But the second time it was rigged on Magnus's door, Soundwave triggered it, and without it, we would have never known we had been infiltrated."

"Soundwave at the time was a prisoner of war and under the influence of the Unicron virus," Rewind interjected. The archivist was ahead of Trailcutter, but how far ahead was a best guess; Artemis' vision was limited to those behind them. "I should have some footage regarding the incident in question — "

"Please, no, not my shining moments with the Autobots," Artemis groaned. "Can we change the subject? We're starting to get into trigger territory." She flashed Skids a smirk. "And you think I'm surly when sober."

"That would explain why you're grumpier than usual," Sunstreaker interjected.

"Has nothing to do that I'm slung over the shoulder of my best friend, does it?"

"Highlight of my day thus far," Trailcutter added. "Low point was waking up to whatever the hell Cav had set for her alarm."

"That was Iron Maiden. One of countless Earth bands she has in her system." Artemis met Sunstreaker's quizzical expression with a smirk. "He passed out at our hab last night."

"Which is only slightly less embarrassing than being slung over the shoulder of our forcefield specialist," the yellow and black Autobot countered.

"Would you like to trade off?" Trailcutter bantered. "She outweighs you two-fold. Might I also point out few of you would dare to do this, especially after the last campaign, when this 'bot here — " he gave her backside a pat, " — led a squad that secured the front line to liberate the Temptorians?"

"You exaggerate," Artemis grumbled, crossing her arms. "Although I can't complain about the time between campaigns; I like the liberating end of things, as opposed to being forced on the defences during wartime."

"Hey, Sunstreaker," Trailcutter called out, "Remember when all we did was fight 'Cons and keep Earth safe from bad guys?"

Sunstreaker cut past Skids and rested an elbow on Trailcutter's free shoulder. "Information creep's settling in early with you, 'Breaker; good chunk of those battles was fighting Wheeljack's half-aft inventions and fixing the base in the aftermath."

"I'm positive he put his whole aft in designing them," Trailcutter retorted, then altered the pitch and treble of his voice in an attempt to emulate the Autobot inventor. "'Oh! I need the whatchamacallit back in my workshop on Cybertron! Hey, who wants to sneak on the Decepticon space bridge and go get it for me...? No...? Anyone? Fine, I'll just use this thingamabob I found in the boot of a '54 de Soto...'"

Rewind failed to stifle a laugh.

"And that, folks, is the rundown of what happened to Grimlock's brain," Sunstreaker concluded, leaning back to regard Artemis. "Wow, you must really like him to put up with this."

"I'm conserving energy," she rebutted, glancing past the queue. "At attention, boys; Magnus is coming this way."  
Sunstreaker fell back in line behind Skids; the three snapped to attention just as Ultra Magnus walked the line, pausing to regard four Autobots, one slung over the shoulder of the front 'bot, all sporting straight-faced expressions.

"I was resisting shore-leave," Artemis explained, deadpan.

Sunstreaker was losing the battle against snickering. 

Magnus's jaw flexed, and he continued on his path down the line.

"When he clenches his teeth like that," Skids observed, "that means we're annoying him within perimeters, right?"

"It's when he can't find an infraction clause to nail us with," Artemis pointed out, "or he's trying to unsee what he saw. Either way, I personally find it endearing."

"You would," Trailcutter chortled as they stepped closer to the shuttle dock. "So, can I trust you not to bolt if I set you down?"

"I can't guarantee anything."

"Yeah, I kinda figured you were going to say that."

 

*

 

"I will have everyone within audio range know I'm am doing this against my will!"

"Yeah, no one cares," Trailcutter chuckled, unloading Artemis into a crash seat. Dusting off his hands, he turned to face the other Autobots sitting across from her. "If she moves from this seat, I want to know immediately."

"You know what happens when I go on shore leave?" Artemis protested. "Violence! Mayhem! Destruction!"

"Well, if you'd stop picking fights in bars...!" Sunstreaker shouted from the back of the hold. 

"That shouldn't be a problem," Cavalier added from four seats down, an electropop song pulsing through her speakers, "she's gotten us kicked out of half of them in the Arm already."

"Not my fault I resisted capture," Artemis grumbled, folding her arms over her chest. "Most of those bounties were put up by Demon-funded thugs thinking they'd make a quick shanix or two."

"Oh, this shore leave's looking better and better," Sunstreaker grinned as Bob settled by his feet.

"Can anyone tell me what the difference between shore leave and doing what we normally do?" Artemis demanded. "Other than going off-ship to get fendered? Same thing, different location, that's all! Hell, we get bored at Swerve's — no offence, Swerve — we go find somewhere else to get pissed."

"And for you, that's a dual meaning," Sunstreaker continued.

"To be fair, that only happens if we play the Nemesis Game," Whirl interjected.

"I'm way too fraggin' sober to be even thinking about the Nemesis Game," Artemis countered, leaning against the bulkhead, glaring at Rewind, who just happened to be across from her. She cocked her head, arched a brow. Something was missing. "Where's Chromedome?"

"He's on official ship's business." Rewind's delivery — disapproval, dejection, disappointment — explained the rest. Chromedome was likely injecting again. Likely they were intending on finding out what happened to Red Alert before he attempted suicide.

She glanced away, grimacing. "Frag." Just enough for Rewind to know she caught his meaning, that she was in agreement with the archivist's views. Hell, what right did she have to judge? Had she not had her episode the sol before, she would have still possessed Red's books, to be stored in an evidence locker in Magnus's office under his key.

"Hey, 'Cutter! Art's got that 'I'm on duty' look to her face!" Cavalier shouted. 

"You little narc," Artemis rifled back. "I'm just now starting to understand Whirl's outlook on life."

"Finally, someone else to hate the universe with!" Whirl cheered.

"I said 'understand', not 'share'. There is a difference. Ah, fraggit, I'm going out back," Standing as to not hit her head on the low ceiling, she marched into the next hold, with Sunstreaker and Cavalier calling out, "Bot trying to escape! Bot trying to escape!" 

Flashing a rude gesture towards the two, she side-stepped just in time to avoid crashing head-on into the ship psychiatrist. "Welcome back to the land of the living," she greeted, genuinely glad to see Rung.

"Thank you -- it is good to be back, for obvious reasons." Whether Rung was a tall Minibot or short and thin by standard measure, or for that matter even what he transformed into, it had yet to be deciphered. Three things were constant with him: he was too mild-mannered to stand out amongst the stronger, eccentric personalities; he blended into the background, always observing; and he earned the trust of the most hardened of mech quickly. Outside the office, he was akin to an older classmate, keeping an optic out for the younger brethren, speaking softly, never condescending. Even Whirl liked Rung, and Whirl hated everyone. Likewise, giving Artemis's track record of resistance when dealing with psychiatrists would have otherwise placed him low on her respect spectrum, but Rung was different. "I'm glad you've decided to join us, Artemis."

"It's not willingly, I assure you," Trailcutter chortled, grabbing his friend by the waist and dragging her to the seat next to him. "What does it take to get you to relax, Art?"

"Sobriety isn't helping matters, that's for certain," she grumbled, studying the 'bots surrounding her.

Rung placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled. "The attempt in itself is admirable. But we will discuss this further when we return to the ship. For now — "

" — we cram everything we can into a single sol without getting arrested or deported!" Sunstreaker chortled, joining them on the other side of Artemis, Bob jumping onto the seat next to him. Answering her and Trailcutter's unspoken question, he flipped his thumb back into the previous hold. "Can anyone tell me how Cav got this far without getting killed?"

"I was wondering that just this morning," Trailcutter muttered.

Rodimus was speaking in the other hold. "We'll be departing shortly, it would seem." Rung patted her shoulder once more. "I should get to my seat. We'll see everyone planet-side." As he departed, Hoist and Grapple joined the three. 

"Anyone else noticing someone missing from the roster?" Grapple muttered. 

"Well, we're not going to leave the ship unattended," Hoist pointed out, turning to Trailcutter and, by default, Artemis. "Grapple is convinced that there may be a conspiracy going on — Drift isn't on board for shore leave."

"Rod and Magnus are here; should have a CO on board in case a situation arises," Trailcutter interjected. He tapped Artemis's hand, glancing over at her.

"Doesn't make sense," she mouthed.

He said nothing, only gave her a slight nod, before bringing his attention back to Grapple and Hoist.

Sunstreaker whistled for Artemis's attention. "What was that about?" he muttered into her audio receptor.

"I'm trying to switch off, 'Streaker," she grumbled.

"Red?" he asked.

She allowed the question to hang for five clicks before nodding. "Yeah, stems from that."

NEXT CHAPTER:The Joker and the Thief

 


End file.
